Ever feel like life is just moving to fast for you? Kinda like you are just watching it not living it. Like a video game where you can control what happens, decide what path the character will take, but when they fight an enemy and get hurt...it's just a game so you don't feel it. It might not be a bad thing, there are no tears involved. There is no crying yourself to sleep or self injury. Just numbness, but not the Linkin Park emo kind...just sorta detached...And really you can play the game for hours on end, figure out every skill the character possess but in the end, you can't really be them. And what happens when you turn the game off? you've invested all your energy and time in leveling up the character and focusing on their mission, but what about you? Now you haven't the character's skills to lean on anymore, and you don't have a clear cut goal and you haven't put time into thinking one up. You don't even know what you like or want. That's frightening. It's terrifying to be so lost. But maybe it's even more dreadful to not feel and lie to yourself and everyone around you. YOu aren't that strong character, you can't vanquish monsters and walk on water and your acting is only so-so...and if you don't at least try to be the character..then what will happen to you when the monsters come and you have to fight them?  

I feel like i've jumped into the deep end before learning how to swim. And the terrifying thing is, i'm not scared.